people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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