Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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