Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
