It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
