Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
