piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
