I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
