I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
