First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
