Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
