She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
