turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
