I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
