Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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