Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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