i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
