College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
