I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
