maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dignity is for republicans.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
