dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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