This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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