i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize