I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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