its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
