Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
