The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
