I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
