I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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