I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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