I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
