nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
