I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
