we're chasing vodka with high fives
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize