You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
