Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
