i think i have two assholes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
