his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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