Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
