took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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