It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
