I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
