I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
