Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize