I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
In America we eat man semen.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
