we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize