at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize