I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
