The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
