I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Randomize
