I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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