Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
