Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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