your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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