Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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