So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
