Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
