Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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(408): View more from California

Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people

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(310): View more from California

I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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(530): View more from California

He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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(314): View more from Missouri

Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Risk it. Keep the titties tough.

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