good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
