Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
