It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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