Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The best revenge is premature balding
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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