ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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