were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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