Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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