I think i sorta joined a cult last night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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