If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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