I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
