his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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