When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
